Confusion makes things clear.

I have been thinking about it for some time now. At times it makes my head hurt, other times it makes me excited, then I get scared and my stomach goes crazy, then I just finally stop thinking about it and focusing on something else. It's called Ironman.

For about 8 years I have been watching IM and truly fascinated by the human bodies ability to go through 140.6 miles of continuous effort. The training, money, time, and personal sacrifices IM requires. During the last 4 years I really knew that one day I was going to be an Ironman but when that day would come would be no time soon. As time marches on so does life.

My first triathlon in 2004 was a first timers tri, shorter than a sprint but I trained, went and had a great time! For some reason I never went back for more, I was afraid I guess. Lost in a huge world of age groupers and Clydesdale's, big expensive bikes, fast swimmers and runners. It was intimidating to say the least, hey, I was a weight lifter not a triathlete. So for the next 2 1/2 years I went back to weights and running short distance fun runs and my first marathon at the end of 2004. Last year I decide to run 2 half marathons and get back into triathlons.

I then found blog world and created 1 Step Closer 2 Ironman. I knew that my daily life would play out on the pages and 1 step at a time and some day it would lead to my title. Along the way I've met fantastic people and learned of others trials and tribulations, not only with triathlons but with life in general. The tri-blog land people are all trying to get to the same place within. They may do it at different venues but the desire to complete there 1st, 2nd or what ever it may be something is all the same. And we all help each other along the way through the good times and bad. I've been hooked on my blog community of friends from around the US and am very proud to be on there blogs as JohnnyTri.

Lately a few Ironman races were completed and several fellow bloggers were participating and I was cheering so loud they could hear me from H-twn. I love seeing others accomplish, it's just fulfilling but my desire longs just like the next person. I want to be at those races with them.

I loved how MoMo, IM Myles, Tri-Greyhound, Kona Shelly, Iron Will, and Geek Girl were all out there this past weekend giving it all they could and having fun. I was jealous but in envy. They all trained so hard and accomplished so much. Then for some, (like Bigun who was at home cheering from the sidelines like me) the day after there event went and sign up for IMCdA 2008 and yet again I am so proud of them for taking the step but once again jealous and feeling like the Bridesmaid and never a Bride as I once said. Then my man Bigun has to go and dedicate a full blog writing to all of the totally awesome people who are going to be having fun at IMCdA 2008 (no harm Bigun, page rocks.. read on) And I think to myself... I will be watching once again via the web in 2008.

As I first said I have been thinking hard, so much so since last week that it gives me a headache and stresses me out. I have asked questions to several bloggers and local coaches and still the answer does not come. I even talk with family and they don't have the answer. There is no looking for the answer when it's already there and you just don't see it.

Then in the last 2 days the it came more clear, cloudy at first, maybe hazy but there. As I started to see what I was looking for it began to clear up. Wait, I see two answers. TWO! NOOOOOOO I only need one!! Not Two! Crap! Now I'm confused with two answers. I have to focus on the two answers and feel which one is the correct one. Then today it happens! About 2 hours ago it just finally clears, sparkles and shines like the Big Dipper. What should I do? I can see it now.

And the answer is:

Thats right peeps, I'm in for 2008 Ironman Coeur d`Alene! And now there will be no cheering from home, it will be from the bike and run as I'm out there on the course with you MoMo, IM Myles, Bigun, Tri-G-dog, Blink140pnt6, Iron Eric, Curly Sue, Spokane Al, Boulder, DrBubba, Iron Tater, Geek Girl, TriDogMom, Bradster and Tea.

So now I can rest at ease, except for the occasional WTF did I do and freak out! I can focus and can't wait to take the next 357 days 1 Step Closer 2 Ironman!

rockon`